What is Masturbation?

While the answer is simple — what is masturbation — it’s really not. A 12-year-old knows it by any other name: wanking, jacking off, the Big M, or shooting jizz. Yet, the really simple question, “what is masturbation” has a far deeper answer. If a guy thought he had a dumb question, it’s not. It’s a really good question.

No Embarrassment for Asking What is Masturbation?

The short definition for masturbation is simple: stimulating one’s own genitals by any number of means to any desired end. However, the Orgasmic Guy thinks masturbation is much much more than that. And that’s a good thing.

When a guy is feeling guilty for masturbating, finds himself in an uncomfortable conversation, or — more likely the case — hasn’t completely justified what he does, he then creates a number of definitions for masturbation. Mine was, for a while, that it’s not masturbation if you don’t ejaculate. In my gut, I knew better.

Let’s call it what it is. Masturbation is stimulating by any means any part of your body in order to sexually arouse yourself. Really, you could probably expand that a bit to include mental stimulation, but we’ll leave that alone. Masturbation goes way beyond rubbing your penis in order to ejaculate. It includes massaging your scrotum and stimulating your nipples, anus, chest, butt, perineum, and prostate. And orgasm with ejaculation isn’t necessarily the end result either.

Masturbating with Liberating Honesty

Forgive me if I’ve blasted your alibi, but I think total honesty and calling it what it is is incredibly liberating. A plain and simple definition in your mind and amongst your peers eliminates all the controversy over what counts, what’s OK when, and how often. Now, there’s no question. You masturbate. You like it. It’s good for you. And you’re free.

Once a guy is honest with himself and trashes the denial, he can pursue the benefits of male masturbation safely. Safely? Yes, safely. When you’re trying to do something in a state of dishonesty with yourself and others, you risk doing, saying, and thinking a lot of stupid things. You jeopardize relationships, reputation, and your own thinking.

For example, your brother, roommate, or wife stumbles onto your masturbation somehow. Rather than lying and putting dishonestly between you, you simply say, “Uh huh.” You’ll likely find out they do, too. Now, you have something else in common.

The other reason it’s safe, to be honest, is that you’re not obsessed with hiding what you do in all kinds of risky ways just to get away with it, but rather you masturbate with purpose and you indulge and grow your sexuality without having to contrive ways to justify it. Think of it as the difference between slamming down a doughnut on the way out the door every morning while sneaking in a few more during the day and enjoying your favorite dinner with plenty of time all the while knowing that it’s a good thing and good for you.

It’s our societal controversy that’s brought us here. You know that those who have saddled us with this seeming need to cover our masturbatory tracks do it themselves and are covering their tracks as well. Not everyone is going to buy this liberation. That’s OK. We guys can enjoy what we call masturbation in all honesty because how we define masturbation is broad and it allows us to explore it safely and freely.

Photo by James Barr on Unsplash