Morning Salute

I remember when I was a kid and I’d have an erection in the morning, I had to do acrobats to pee in the toilet. It scared me because I thought something was really wrong, and there was no way I was going to ask anyone about it.

Who thought up this morning hard-on thing anyway, and why are we guys blessed with it? Sure sometimes it’s really pleasant to wake up feeling aroused and raring to go, but if you’re not exactly a leisurely morning person it really gets in the way. It’s a hassle if you’re bunking with your buddies — say hunting or fishing — and you get up in the morning with a stick in your undies. Did you ever try to hide it? That’s a trick. Where in the heck do you put it when it’s three times its usual size and hard as a rock? It’s not like no one else ever gets one, but I think it’s just not polite to flaunt your morning stiffy.

A couple of years ago a guy in Europe told me that the slang word for morning erection in one Scandinavian language was the same word as evening milk and cookies in another Scandinavian language. I can see where that could complicate international relations in some settings. Especially, if your bud over the border invites you to join him for a spot of tea and cookies in the evening. I’d politely decline.

It’s a disappointment though when the old pal down there doesn’t greet you in the morning. Actually, it can be a sign of stress, fatigue, or other possible concerns. Don’t take that too seriously, though. Guys have phases that come and go and if the boy doesn’t get up when you do, don’t give it too much thought. Just get more sleep.

Really, the morning salute is an assurance that it’s six o’clock and all is well. All systems are “go” and you can anticipate another great day.

Photo by Igor Ovsyannykov on Unsplash