Guys and Masturbation — Where’s the Liberation?

Are you tired of all the hype, guilt, and controversy about guys and masturbation? All the studies and surveys agree; that ninety-some percent of guys masturbate. So what’s the issue? One issue is that guys do it for different reasons. The other, I think is more significant and that is how they feel about the fact that they do masturbate.

Nearly any study you look at will tell you that with most guys masturbation begins between thirteen and sixteen years old. Even babies are known to sometimes fondle their genitals. From youth, it’s called jerking off or jacking off and later it becomes wanking and adult guys just don’t talk about it much anymore. A lot of guys in their sixties and seventies are still wanking. It all seems pretty natural.

Guys and Masturbation — It’s Just What Guys Do

But Why? There are as many reasons to masturbate as there are to have sex — probably more. It almost always starts out as self-discovery, and the first pleasurable sensations are startling to most but quickly become a personal passion. It’s almost as if you’ve discovered a favorite haunt where you’re accepted, safe, and OK at a most intimate and vulnerable level.

In that place where a young guy has discovered himself, he learns the arts of passion and gentleness himself which later may be shared with a lover. He also learns about intimacy and acceptance of his most private areas of life. This also he will share with another and unconditionally accept that woman intimately, and she will feel safe.

How Do You Feel About Masturbation?

It’s at this juncture that men divide in their response to their own masturbation. Ideally, those people in a young guy’s life who influence his early sexuality will accept his sexual curiosity and give him space and affirmation in it. A father, older brother, or friend treats masturbation as the natural part of sexuality that it is, and doesn’t add confusion. A mother who “catches” her son masturbating simply excuses herself, gives him privacy, and clearly lets him know that he should explore his personal sexuality without fear of intrusion or condemnation.

Gosh, how would it be? A young man would be sexually sane and probably have a great marriage and both he and his lover would be sexually fulfilled.

Unfortunately, this is an uncommon scenario, and most of us go through life trying to become sexually free and fulfilled. The good news is that this journey is in itself very rewarding. It’s a journey where you shake off guilt, and self-condemnation and take what you didn’t know was yours. The great part is that you think you’ve discovered something that makes you feel healthy and alive and then you find out that there’s even more territory out there waiting to be explored.

That’s the way it is with guys and masturbation: some just grow up free; some are bound and shake themselves free, and others never do find their freedom. Once you find it, though, married or single, an explorer’s approach to masturbation can revolutionize your sex life.

Are You Ready for Your Masturbation Liberation?

Liberation? I can’t even spell maturbation or is it masterbation? How can I be liberated? Well, you found us however you spelled it. You’ve read this far. You’re looking for something.

Relax. While great masturbation techniques add spice, it’s not really about techniques. The pleasure is in your head and your soul. If you want a fuller sex life, life-changing orgasms and to be generally healthier more unified spiritually, and feel good about yourself, then set aside the notion of jacking off as fast as you can and just relax.

Check your motives. Never let masturbation be the result of anger or loneliness. It’s not a last resort or an escape from reality, but it’s a connection with yourself. That’s why it’s called solo sex. Some justify masturbation by their need to release semen. While that’s certainly valid, in itself it sounds to me like a flaw in human design. As if guys need a pressure-relief valve. I trust the design in the way men were made. Masturbation is simply a way to express affection to yourself. If you can extend love to yourself, accept yourself, and affirm yourself, you’re far less self-centered with others in your life because you’ve got nothing to prove. I believe masturbation, motivated by self-acceptance, can help you become generous and considerate of others. Is that a stretch? I don’t think so.

Guys and masturbation is hardly a religious activity, but like intercourse, it can definitely be spiritual. Anything upon which you meditate, pray about or do when you’re consciously in the presence of God is spiritual. And there of course is the challenge. Should one masturbate while consciously in the presence of God or while praying or meditating? If you masturbate, it would follow that you could masturbate in the presence of God, while praying or while meditating.

It’s totally understandable that there might be some pretty big issues of guilt with what I’m suggesting because of all the baggage society and religious institutions have left with us. While it may not be the ultimate liberation, I’d say it’s close when a guy comes to the place in his sexuality when he can masturbate in the presence of God or pray with his lover while making love. When you reach this place in your sexuality, you’ve definitely discovered the affection of God in your spirituality. Then again, the real truth might be the reverse of that statement.

Male Masturbation and the Things You Could Learn

One of the greatest things about guys and masturbation is the things you learn about yourself. Sexuality is a process of knowing someone — you know in the biblical sense. Sex between a man and a woman is an incredibly deep and profound way to know another person in a way other than cognitively. You know them spiritually, emotionally, physically, and perhaps others.

Knowing yourself isn’t much different. When a guy masturbates in a way beyond the physical rush and jazz of jacking off or a simple wank to relieve stress or relax, he can learn a lot about himself — things he really likes — things that go beyond the cognitive.